Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
They have beer where we have blood.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
