idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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