My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
