butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's rum buckets o'clock
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