I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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