My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
