I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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