Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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