Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
