New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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