Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
