Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
