Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
