quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
