Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
