apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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