why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
