You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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