Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
