No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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