need another drink. this is the easiest way
my sisters under your porch take her home
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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