eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
