I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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