I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
