i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
