his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
its liver damage thursday
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
