Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
