so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
