States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
