The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
