i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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