So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
