i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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