weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
