I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
