You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
