She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
