I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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