I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
