the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
