Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
