I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
