how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this just has baby written all over it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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