Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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