I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
