I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We had to coat check the pizza.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
