im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pants are for mortals
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
