you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
