roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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