why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
