I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
