yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
